Laughter Is Good for Your Soul
by MistOfGrayDawn
Summary: Inspired by my thoughts on Moria's laugh... T for some language.


**Random Moria oneshot :D 'cause I was in a Moria mood. It kinda helps if you've seen the Lazer Collection on YouTube, just so you know… :D**

"KISHISHISHISHISHISHI!" Gecko Moria was busy practicing his incredibly annoying evil laugh in the mirror of the small two-bedroom apartment, which, unfortunately, was not the most soundproof place in the world.

One might think that a two-bedroom apartment in upstate New York wasn't the most fitting place for a rising Shadow Lord, but hey, the budget was tight at the moment. Sure, it wasn't the grand haunted ship Moria had imagined, with an army of undead minions to command at his wish, but everyone's gotta start someplace, right?

_Hmm, I think I've almost got it perfected,_ he thought with a sharp-toothed grin. "How about this, Perona?" he yelled to the ghost princess, who was in the living room watching the Food Network on the tiny television. "KISHISHISHISHISHISHISHI!" Another earsplitting cackle went right through the paper-thin walls.

"Oh my god, shut up!" Perona yelled, exasperated. The gothic-dressed girl stomped into the doorway of the tiny bathroom where Moria was standing in front of the mirror. "I can barely hear the television as it is, with the freakin' neighbors having their goddamn party, I don't need you adding to it!" She jabbed a finger towards the ceiling to emphasize her point.

"I know you're supposed to be the boss and all, but this whole 'Project _Thriller Bark'_ thing isn't all you told me it was gonna be. What the hell kinda name is 'Thriller Bark,' anyway? It sounds like Michael Jackson doing some song with his dogs! And when am I getting paid?"Perona continued to ask questions, complain, and insult everyone in the building all in one monologue.

Moria suppressed an exasperated sigh. These were the kinds of questions she had been asking nonstop lately. It wasn't his fault the zombie army volunteer operation wasn't as popular as he had first thought! And, yes, the budget was tight at the moment, but one day _Thriller Bark _would be a reality and the zombie army unstoppable! The not-yet Shadow Lord almost let out another maniacal _kishishi,_ but he restrained himself, seeing as Perona's mood wasn't improving.

"…and all these zombies are taking up a lot of space! How the hell do you steal a shadow, anyway? That's just ridiculous! Are you really that dim? You had to resort to_ stealing people's freaking shadows_ to supply your zombie army?"

Perona's complaining was starting to get on Moria's nerves. "Are you PMSing or something?" he asked, a little irritated that she had to point out every flaw in his very well thought-out plan. (Or, at least, it had seemed that way when he had first come up with it.)

Perona's teeth took on the appearance of Arlong's fangs as she punched Moria in the head, instantly flooring him. "YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!" she raged. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN ASK THAT! ASSHOLE!" She stormed back into the living room. "I NEED CHOCOLATE!"

Obviously that was the wrong question to ask. _…I'll take that as a 'yes.'_ Moria thought from his place on the floor. Once he deemed it safe, Moria got up and dusted himself off, deciding to ignore the crater in the bathroom floor for now. _Eh, it'll look totally natural if I just put the rug over it._ (Aren't the wonders of male decorating just amazing?)

His eyes darted from left to right to make sure Perona was out of sight, grinning. He took a deep breath in preparation for another _kishishi,_ but the ghost girl's voice stopped him, and he flinched.

"Don't even think about it!" she yelled. "Go outside if you're gonna do that! Just don't interrupt me."

Moria sighed, letting his shoulders slouch. "Yes, _Mother,_" he said sarcastically as he trudged toward the door to the small balcony.

Perona glared icily at him. "Do you want me to call my Negative Hollows?" she threatened.

Moria wisely kept his mouth shut after that, quickly disappearing out the sliding-glass door onto the balcony. "Finally," he muttered. "Some peace and quiet!"

(Back inside)

"Finally," Perona muttered with a roll of her dark-outlined eyes. "Some peace and quiet!"

Satisfied, she munched her chocolate and focused her attention on the TV, which was playing the newest episode of _The Next Iron Chef_.

Moria took a deep breath, clearing his throat in preparation for the next bout of hideous cackles. _Creeeak,_ went the rusted iron of the balcony beneath him. The soon-to-be Shadow Lord glared down at the rusty metal, silently berating it for interrupting his concentration. Of course he wouldn't say anything out loud; the neighbors would think he was crazy!

"KISHISHISHISHISHISHI!" The sound echoed in the night but was smothered by the unending noises of the City That Never Sleeps. "Ooh, that was a good one!" he said to himself with a pleased giggle.

Moria took another breath and puffed out his chest to do it again, but an irate voice interrupted before he could get even one syllable out.

"Will you _shut up_?" A man with obvious bedhead and 5 o'clock shadow had stuck his head out the window of his own apartment two floors below and was yelling at the top of his lungs. "Some of us are trying to sleep because we actually have jobs! Go to bed, you crazy hippie, and tell your girlfriend we can hear her bitching all the way down here!"

Moria's common sense had flown the coop several minutes ago, so he had no problem firing back with all he had. "Oh yeah?" he yelled. "Well, at least I'm not the one working a shitty nine-to-five job to support a wife who steals your cash to buy booze! And I am not a hippie! Necromancy is a complex occupation that requires a much higher intellect than you'll ever have!" He stood with his arms crossed for a moment, a smug smirk on his pale face. "And she is not my girlfriend; she's my subordinate!"

Perona had walked over and opened the door, and she was standing there with an amused smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "You know he closed the window like a minute and a half ago, right?"

Moria, still reveling in his triumph, completely ignored her, and she walked back inside with an annoyed huff.

"Now," Moria said after all disturbances had been quieted. "Where was I? Oh, yes; KISHISHISHISHI—"

"SHUT UP! _BLAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!_" A very rude interruption and an electric blue blast of energy made Moria throw himself to the floor to avoid getting his head blown off by the lazer blast.

He stood up again after the danger had passed. "GODDAMNIT! That's the third time this week!" Gingerly he touched the singed tip of his pointed ear. "You could have taken my head off with that, you crazy bastard!" Moria raged in the general direction of the now very smug attacker.

Grumbling, he started back inside, not wanting to take the chance of being hit by another lazer. Just as he was stepping through the doorway…

"_BLAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"_

"GODDAMNIT!"


End file.
